This week I've been writing my Workbook for 2018 for my clients. I've loved doing this; it's a free 30 page book full of tips to keep you on track in between or after your sessions. There are exercises and inspirational quotes to keep you going.
What is your Motivational Score?
One of the questions I ask is 'What is your Motivational Score?' In other words, how much do you really want your goal? And, more to the point, how hard are you willing to work at it?
It's very easy to say, 'I'd love to be thinner', or 'I want to stop wasting money each month,' or 'I need to be more assertive at work,' or 'I'm really not happy at work and must find some other career.'
But exactly how much time and effort are you willing to put into any of these? Are you prepared to pick yourself up when it gets tough?
The difference between success and failure is often that successful people keep going.
They have the same amount of talent as you do, the same circumstances, the same difficulties. But they keep going because they really want their goal.
Without staying power, your goal remains a wish. There is no one with a magic wand to bring about the changes you want. The only person who can affect change is you. And of course my role is to support and help you stay on track.
But you need to be honest and ask how much you want that goal. How much do you really, really want it? A 5 would be 'Yes, that'd be nice', a 7 would be, 'That sounds great,' and a 10 would be, 'I want that more than anything.'
Out of ten, what's your score?
If it's lower than 8, do you need to reassess? Or, remind yourself of the benefits that your goal will bring you. Write them down. 'My goal will bring me....'
If you could do one thing today that would bring your goal closer, what would that be?
Okay- so what's stopping you? If you're scoring 8 and more but you don't know how to start, maybe we should have a chat.
Take a Life Audit.
An exercise to get you started on making those positive changes.
Why wait until January to start evaluating what you want to change in your life?
Perhaps you know already, but are having a problem with your motivation.
If you want to make some changes, the most important part is to commit your goals to paper. Write them down.
Start your audit
I always suggest my clients start with an audit. You can draw up a checklist like the one above, or create a Wheel of Life. Simply draw a circle on a blank page. Now divide it into segments (like cutting a pie) - you'll need around 6 but it's not crucial to have 6. You can have 8 or more.
Give each segment a label, for example:
Okay, now you have to evaluate how satisfied you are with each of those.
What does 'satisfied' mean?
By 'satisfied' I mean are you fulfilling your potential? Do you have more to give? Are you coasting? Have you tried to make changes and plateaued, so you are stuck and settling?
Is it just 'okay' but not really what you dreamed of? Would you like more or less of whatever it is? Be honest.
Score them out of 10. So, zero would be completely dissatisfied and 10 would be perfectly happy.
What's a 'good score'?
As a guide, I suggest that a score of 5 or less is an area you need to work on. But, it's your choice.
Choose one or two of your lower scores. What for you would be a good improvement? Moving from 2 to 5, 5 to 7? 6 to 8? 8 to 10?
Coaching is nothing without a timescale. We can all dream... and dream on! But to live the dream you have to do stuff. Where would you be in a month if you took some action? Where could you be in 6 months? A year?
What's stopping you?
You know what needs to change, but why can't you do it?
Maybe you could add your own to this list if helpful?
How about you choose one thing that would help you to make a positive change now?
It could be a change in your mental attitude (positive instead of negative); seeking out people who can help you; reducing the number of biscuits you eat in a day....one tiny thing.
The beauty of being coached is that you become accountable to someone else. Me. You have said you want to make changes, you have a plan of sorts, so it's over to you now to follow through.
Keep a record.
I always suggest you keep a diary or journal where you record all small achievements, every day. If it helps, treat yourself to a pretty notebook instead of the cheapest. Come on - these are YOUR achievements so buy that notebook!
I don't recommend keeping a journal online because, without being too new age about it all, there is energy in your handwriting. Whether it's fast and furious or slow and methodic, those entries say as much about you as the words.
What you write down
It might be something small, like refusing the office cake if they are trying to lose weight, to speaking up in a meeting if they lack confidence, or saying 'No' to someone asking a favour when they are really pushed for time.
It could be staying calm when faced with a stroppy teenager, or making dinner from scratch even when you are knackered.
It could be some networking or other marketing on a business that one day will bear fruit. Or walking a bit further to up your exercise. We're talking small, not world changing. (Though that's okay too.)
Try to write down 3 positive achievements every day. Ideally, a couple should be connected to your main goal. But if you've made fantastic chocolate brownies today as well as possibly updating your CV, applying for a job, going to an interview, or working on your negative thoughts, credit yourself for that too.
At the end of each week, look back over your journal. You see; you've done one heck of a lot more than you imagined. You've got the idea? So, keep going.
And if you need some help, get in touch.
Yet another report concluded recently that women's pay lags behind men's: the Pay Gap.
Read more about it www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-41805053
What is the pay gap?
Before your eyes glaze over at the thought of reading a dry report, stop! The Pay Gap is more about fulfilment and training.
It's not so much about women being paid less for doing the same work, but women not achieving their potential within the workplace due (often) to family commitments coming first, or having fewer qualifications. This is one reason why we have fewer female MPs; working hours late into the night are rarely compatible with family life unless there is another parent or carer to share the load.
Why women feel the need for change
You may not be bothered about your earnings (or you may be.) But you may be one of the many women who come to me for career change who - having reached a certain age or stage in their lives- feel they want to do something different, either to earn more, or to have more time for themselves, or to fulfil a long-standing dream.
When does this happen?
It varies. I've coached hundreds of women, not solely on careers (but they make up about 50 per cent of my enquiries.) Usually women start thinking about change when:
These are the outcomes of coaching for some women I have worked with:
Where do you fit in?
The pay gap is not just about money. It's about finding opportunities that reward your skills and develop your skills. If you are stuck in a dead-end role, you are bored, or feel it's not what you want any more, what's stopping you from making changes?
Why are you not doing the work you love?
Fear? Lack of confidence? Indecision? You're nodding. Yes, that's what I thought.
If you want to know how to get rid of these nagging doubts that hold you back, get in touch for a chat about my coaching packages.
I'm Glynis, a career, relationship and wellbeing coach. These are my tips on what life throws at people like us and how coaching can help. You can read more about me here. Do get in touch if I can help you.