How to find calm during the festive season and beyond

How do you feel about the festive season?

Maybe like many of us, you've mixed feelings. If you're an introvert, having to socialise can be stressful. If you're an extrovert, you may end up burnt-out by 2 January.

Is there somewhere in between that can bring you the right balance? 
Christmas and New Year bring their own challenges.

Two key features of the festive season are balancing what you want with the needs of others.
But the skills you use to navigate this are the same as you're using for the rest of the year.
Christmas can be a time to take stock, reflect on who you are and what you want for the year ahead.

• If your life is too busy and you're feeling stressed all of the time, can you use Christmas as means to longer-term  behavioural changes? If you're a 'Yes' person, (and find it hard to get out of those festive events you really don't want to go to) how can you manage those? And how can you apply that to the rest of your life?

• If you find it hard to create 'you time' whether that's walking, disappearing the the 'man/woman shed' or curling up with a book or to listen to some music, how do you make that space?

Being Assertive
It's easy to confuse assertiveness with being confrontational. Much of my coaching is focused on helping clients understand the difference and learning to be assertive. 

This means saying what you want, without being harsh, aggressive or causing offence.
If you're a 'Yes' person and agree to every social invitation even if you don't want to, you'll feel stressed.

But it can be hard to decline invitations and find 'excuses'. 
One of the easiest ways is to simply say, 'I'm sorry I can't make that, but thanks anyway.' Or, stalling for time, can be helpful. 'Let me get back to you on that, because I need to check some dates.'
The more you practise this day-to-day in different situations, the easier it will become.

Find time for yourself
The Boxing Day Walk is a fixture in many of our calendars if we're with family or friends.
But you don't have to wait for it. Taking yourself off for a walk can be calming and restorative. And you shouldn't feel guilty about doing it alone. Forest bathing can be a superb tonic. No, you don't do it in your trunks or swimsuit. But you do immerse yourself in woods, breathe in the air, even if it's wet or damp, and let that tenseness float away. And if you feel compelled to lie down on the forest floor, why not?